Our Demon of the Assassin
by Ninyria
Summary: [ Sanzo x Kougaiji. ] Updated. I changed this a lot since I wasn't satisfied with last time. Not complete. Kougaiji’s demon, Engokuki encourages him to bond with the priest...
1. Chapter 1

* * *

**Title**: Our Demon of the Assassin  
**Fandom**: Saiyuki Reload Gunlock  
**Episodes**: All episodes involving Kougaiji battling Goku.  
**Pairing**: Sanzo x Kougaiji  
**Rating**: R- NC-17  
**Summary**: Sanzo x Kougaiji Kougaiji's demon, Engokuki encourages him to bond with the priest so he can internally learn about Sanzo and his past to counter, not only the party's power, but Kougaiji's emotions as well.  
**Notes**: ((memories)) /thoughts/

* * *

**Chapter One **

* * *

Engokuki of dear Lord Kougaiji, the golden hearted prince of darkness, cared deeply about him, including even his family and comrades. He was more than willing to risk his life for the master, despite his infamous label, 'Prince of Demons', which was given to Kougaiji. Engokuki understood that family and comrades were his priority… but he wanted something more for him. To make him a little stronger…

Maybe to his fullest extent but…

When Kougaiji was brainwashed by Professor Nii, Engokuki was so upset that he refused to summon to him. Why should Engokuki do that when he did not know who was in control of his mind and body?

He saw it was unfortunate that Kougaiji became exceedingly powerful all the sudden, not because of him or his demon powers, and it was frightening that his master did not have the heart or the known compassion that always had been part of Kougaiji's character. His transformed cold, neutral nature was able to provoke his emotions and was able to have him extremely focused on one objective. He felt that the power had rose to a dangerous level would be enough to destroy even a compelling, demonized Goku.

Kougaiji and Goku had goals that weighted a great deal of conscience. So, does this mean they had the same mental strength? It is clear that Goku was physically stronger than Kougaiji while the Prince appeared to have stronger sense of feelings. Kougaiji absolutely had no fear of having emotions, although he may shed more tears than anyone else.

While his mother was Kougaiji's priority, it was the self-worthiness Goku sought after. But the conflict is present right here. For the sake of this time, who gets to win? Which is more important than the other? In general, whatever is beneficial to society and the world is important. Goku would benefit the humans and youkais by defeating the negative wave more than having Kougaiji revive a single mother. As to come to think of an individual, shouldn't one's ambition be more important?

Everything depended on self value. There is no rightness or wrongness in terms of value.

Engokuki, while thinking that Kougaiji was impossible when it came to his determination to save his mother and comrades, was impressed that eventually in the end, Kougaiji's brainwashing was dissipated by his inner soul and love for others.

Taking wise words from all over the places, Kougaiji finally changed his path in hope of becoming stronger by withstanding the pain of letting go of his mother. It seemed to have the opposite effect. This path, Engokuki decided, was weakening him. His prince must fight within reasons.

Throughout their journey, Engokuki had noticed a priest with droopy, deep amethyst eyes that reminded him of Kougaiji's eyes. He had this vivacious blond hair. In some ways, His angelic beauty contradicted his personality. He was brutal, haughty, and egotistical but at the same time, he had the calm judgment, unwavering intensity, and astounding charisma. Unlike Kougaiji, he smoked, swore, and abused his comrades both verbally and mentally. Always physically.

Even though Genjyo Sanzo seemed very unfit to have a high-ranking title, Engokuki admired him. He almost wished Kougaiji was a little more like him.

Not that he did not accept Kougaiji's ways. His chiefly wish was to have Kougaiji capable of seeing the difference and the similarity between Sanzo and himself. Maybe learn a thing or two. Yes, they were totally opposite, especially the insides, but Engokuki wanted Kougaiji to engage with him.

Except that, Engokuki loved him dearly; it was hard not to like him as his wielder when Kougaiji was filled with flaming compassion. There was no way he would switch with someone else.

But he was starting to worry about the lovely prince. He was alarmed when he felt him. He could not read his mind but he could feel him… and his pain. His pain and giving up. So he spoke.

_/Master Kougaiji./ _

* * *

Kougaiji stirred to his presence in surprise.

_/Engokuki?/_

_/Lord Kougaiji. Don't even worry about things that you cannot control./_

_/What?/_

_/Your beloved mother. You can't help the position she was in./_

Kougaiji sighed deeply. His body felt hot and cold at the same time. He could feel him climbing through his adrenaline. To be honest, it was something surprising for Kougaiji, for which this kind of moment with one of the Internal Land Demons was exceptionally rewarding. Of course, the prince wondered why he came forth to him.

_/It's not just her./_ Kougaiji thought, closing his eyes.

_/I know, Lord Kougaiji. Your endurance to live and to fight and seeing how well your lovely sister and comrades are, I am impressed, especially with the overwhelming weakness that you hold_./

"I live to fight for today, not the past," Kougaiji said to himself quietly.

_/Preserve your past as it is part of who you are. But your substantial memories are not the weakness./_

_/What are you talking about, Engokuki? What is it you want from me?/_

_/The priest operative… Genjyo Sanzo-/_

_/'Get the Maten Sculpture'?/ _Kougaiji thought automatically to himself. It seemed that everyone wanted to take his sculpture. True, it was his original plan but he had grown tired of it, as well his past ambition. At that instant, Kougaiji thought he heard a low growl from his flare sub-ordinate.

_/Listen, child, listen. Every human and youkai has his weakness. You must come to him and discover it. Break him and I will teach you the strength that you need./_

_/Why are you helping me, Engokuki?/ _Kougaiji threw his face into his hand, feeling so confused. He felt guilty for asking Engokuki too many questions but he could feel him fading away… as if Engokuki was in a hurry, wanting to shut down. Should he trust him? Is it because Engokuki wanted him to figure it out by himself?_ /Why?/_

_/Do not worry. You are my beloved master and I would never do anything to betray you. Please try. Go to him./_

_/Wait-/_

But Kougaiji felt his body returning to a normal temperature. He felt the sentiment of loneliness coming back.

"Damnit!" Kougaiji shouted, jerking his head. Just in time, Yaone came in, already curious what her master was up to. She saw him standing near the dresser. He started to scramble for his clothes. Kougaiji had slept too long.

"Fuck. Where is my shirt?"

"It's right there," Yaone said quietly, pointing at the chair near his bed. She knew Kougaiji long enough to know exactly which shirt he was talking about. His typical white, long sleeves shirt that was made of cotton. She remembered that he had said that it was incredibly comfortable and that he loved white. He was getting too depressed lately, and white seemed to be the only thing that successfully keep his mind away from the darkest part of his life.

Also, Yaone knew him long enough to see him undressed but the scene of him half-naked never failed to make her blush furiously.

"Oh, thanks." Kougaiji grabbed it from the chair and threw over his head to draw his arms into the sleeves. Then, he attempted to button his shirt and grabbing a few things at the same time. Belt, gloves and so on. They were in the pile of shit on his king bed.

"Lord?"

"No, it's nothing. I have to go," Kougaiji said quickly, even though he knew his comrade wouldn't be satisfied with that kind of answer when his safety was her major concern. He hated lying to her but he knew she would do something stupid and intervene his way of dealing with things. Additionally, Kougaiji thought it was too complicated to explain it to her and even his best friend, Dokugakuji.

Yaone watched him quietly and was disappointed by the atmosphere of this situation. He apparently didn't want his lovely Yaone involved.

Kougaiji continued, getting out of this hellhole Houtou castle. "Don't worry about me. I'll be back."

"Kougaiji?"

Kougaiji stopped at the doorway to hear what the alchemist had to say.

"I love you."

Kougaiji turned, "I love you too." And smiled, "You're like my sister."

As he left, Yaone bowed her head in disappointment.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**

* * *

Chapter Two

* * *

**

Sanzo was getting really pissed off. No cigarettes. No beer. No solitary confinement or peace.

So he decided this time, he would leave the hell out of this place and go shopping or something in the village. He took his robe off his shoulders and gathered it around his waist, leaving his arm straps and halter top on. He left the Maten Scripture and his golden cloth in the hands of idiots.

"Where are you going?" Gojyo asked after him. Sanzo left the room… leaving that question unanswered.

But as he went out, the first things on his mind were his favorite things. Cigarettes. Beer. Papers. Cigarettes. Beer. Papers. Cigarettes. Beer. Papers. After roaming the markets, he managed to get them all in a short time.

On the way back, he mentally smirked as the relief of having everything he wanted engulf him. Unfortunately a thought about his comrades back in the inn quickly trampled it. But at least… //_I'm not getting anything for these idiots.// _And he felt goddamn good about it.

He didn't know why but he liked taking much pleasure in seeing others suffer. Suffer! He had suffered too much from listening, dealing with Goyjo and Goku's famed love affair. Thinking about how much he spent money on food for the monkey made Sanzo clench his fists. Hakkai was alright but too self-righteous. He liked him only because he cleaned shit up. So he felt he earned the rights to make them suffer. It wasn't like he wanted them in the first place, anyway.

While Sanzo was walking down the market street, something caught his eyes. Something very disturbing. And it was something that no one in Sanzo's party would think of. It reminded him of that pretty boy, Kougaiji.

His earrings.

The earrings were hanging delicately in the market. The merchant behind it all was shouting prices and the carats of diamonds, gold, and silver. Among his glamorous collection, there were incredibly beautiful, crafted jewelry with elaborated decoration of diamonds and gems. But Kougaiji's earrings were very simple- plain. Its twin would be unnoticeable to people in general. Not for the priest... and he would like that way better.

But damn, when Sanzo had his first encounter with Kougaiji on the roof, the first things he thought of were he had a pretty face and a question of 'why the hell he's wearing a female's earrings?'.

The pair Sanzo saw was slightly different but same in shape. As you look at them, the earrings appeared to be shaped as one triangle but really, there are two… one overlapping the other. As he recalled, Kougaiji's earrings were framed gold and had a complimentary, transparent triangle to its large gold triangle with cylinders dangling like a wind chime. This pair he saw, had a red, dark glittering large triangle.

The last time Sanzo saw the Prince of Demon was only two days ago. He didn't remember seeing him wearing these earrings. In fact, he couldn't remember him wearing them for a long time. Maybe he decided to stop wearing him. He thought he saw Kougaiji wearing tiny hoop rings instead. Inside, Sanzo kind of wished he could wear the old ones again just to make him look unique… no… //_weird_.//

With or without earrings, Kougaiji would still look incredible unique. His violet eyes, long black eyelashes, and long, rich, brick-red hair framed his delicate, narrow face perfectly. His cute, long ears and long fixed eyebrows condemned his masculinity. Even with the demon markings on his cheek, it uttered his innocence.

There was definitely no someone that looked like him in the world.

_//By Gods, why am I thinking about him and his goddamn earrings?//_ Sanzo thought angrily, as he marched away from the street, lighting one of his cigarette.

What was even more disturbing was his urge to turn his back again to grab these. Just in time, he remembered that he needed a nice nap after a few drinks.

* * *

_The day was bright. Everyone could see anything at this broad daylight. Sanzo was on top of a building, standing on the very tip of the roof. Sanzo took his time to look around to observe the beautiful blue sky with white clouds lingering over and they were flickered with lively birds. It was not long before his eyes were fixed on a figure on the edge of the streak. Neither he could look away nor say anything. Instead, Sanzo watched how his white jacket and pants were moving along with breeze. His hair was vibrant burgundy, and it shone with the sunlight. Just when Sanzo start to admire his natural long mane, his head turns to the priest's presence and his face came in view. His deep violet eyes under the thick, curved eyelashes gazed at Sanzo's matching pair. His supple lips made no movement and his cheeks were, unexpectedly, wet. Tears? Why?_

_Wait._

_Why would Priest Sanzo of all high priests, want to know what was wrong? Something… something on his face was striking…_

_He opened his mouth slightly and Sanzo found himself doing also. Like they were the same._

_Then the angelic looking one moved his focus back on the ground. He crossed his fingers as if he was going to make a wish. Then he jumped off. _

_Of course, Sanzo knew it would happen. But that sad face… he couldn't stop him before he gave him the chance-- the chance of opening to him-- The chance that in any way his history will bind with Kougaiji's. _

"YO! Wake up, your highness."

A slap on his face and a loud voice were all Sanzo needed to pull a revolver against Gojyo's face. He glared at the red-haired punk, trying to tell him that it wasn't smart thing to do. His revolver ended up pointing right under Gojyo's chin.

//_OM'FuckingGad// _Sanzo thought, realizing that his head was still spinning a little. He was definitely buzzed before his nap. It was not like he planned to but it was Gojyo's and his monkey's fault. Ever since he came back from a little shopping, he got a headache from the shouting of insults coming from their damned mouths. He thought drinking would help a little.

Apparently, it didn't work and Sanzo went too far by emptying all these cans.

"Are you alright?" he heard Hakkai say when the blond lowered his plaything to lean over, trying to ease his stomach pain. Then he placed his free hand on his throbbing head.

"No."

"Did you have a pleasant nap?" Hakkai asked.

"Looked like he had a pleasant dream," Gojyo grinned sheepishly. Sanzo was reluctantly putting away his revolver.

"Dinner time!" Goku said cheerfully. "Get up. Come on! I'm hungry as hell!"

"How long was I asleep?" Sanzo muttered to the most reliable comrade, Hakkai.

"Two hours."

"TWO HOURS?? WE JUST ATE TWO HOURS AGO!" Sanzo shouted at Goku as he sat up abruptly from the bed, totally aggravated by his constant hunger. He had returned back to the inn after gathering his favorite things. And then, when Goku got hungry, he was forced to head back out again with the group. Afterward, with the beer and the leftovers, he got his nap that he needed.

Sanzo was THIS close to jump off the bed to strangle Goku for good till the monkey shits all the food in his pants. Oh wait, he probably wouldn't have any left.

However, someone knocked twice… oddly gently he did so. Then, everyone looked at the unsuspected door.

"Could that… be…" Goku began quietly.

"Kougaiji," Hakkai said, smiling.

Oh yeah… Two hours ago…when they were in the restaurant.

((_Gah!!! This is BULLSHIT!" Goku yelled, throwing down the cards on the table angrily. "Another round!"_

_"Just give me a minute, Yes? I need to finish the toast," winner Hakkai said, placing his carefully distributed cards down and picked up his food. Gojyo sighed, throwing his cards down with Goku's and placed the cigarette between his lips to take a deep one. _

_He looked at Goku's empty, remarkably lick-cleaned plates. "Stupid monkey."_

_"Shaddup, Kappa!" he yelled too loudly that made Sanzo lift his hand-made fan and smack hard across this kid's face. He was sitting next to him while Hakkai and Gojyo sat together. In a restaurant, for Gods sake._

_"You shut up."_

"_Excuse me."_

_Gojyo spun his head toward the feminine voice and grinned. The rest of the party looked at the waitress. Gojyo immediately started to drool over the cute brunette._

"_What?" Sanzo asked. His rudeness never ceased to surprise Hakkai who wished he could be more polite._

"_A-are you the Sanzo party?" she asked. She looked nervous. Who wouldn't be intimated by a group like this? A group that was made from hell. Not to mention, also the rumors that they had fought and killed countless of berserkers. _

"_Yeah?" Sanzo said, sounding incredibly bored. "So?"_

"_Someone came in here earlier, asking me if I have seen a figure named Sanzo."_

"_Really?" Goku remarked, "Wow, Sanzo you're really famous. Ahhh- I wish—"_

"_Enough!" Sanzo said, crossing his arms in annoyance. He sighed. "What this person looked like?"_

"_Ah," the waitress looked away, putting her finger on her lips as she recalled. Gojyo was busy staring at her ahem—cleavages, "He was a youkai with really long, dark red hair… and he had white clothes on…" She started to blush, "He… was very pretty."_

"…_that pretty boy."_

"_Wait, who is the pretty boy?" Goku asked, confused._

"_I think he meant Lord Kougaiji," Hakki answered, smiling. _))

From the look of the situation, Goku was sitting like a kid on the floor in a begging position in front of Sanzo. Hakkai was sitting at the table with his legs crossed like a woman. And Gojyo… was drinking Sanzo's last one with the empty cans around him on the secondary bed. It wasn't pretty.

Gojyo had a sweat drop on his head, "Um... to come to think of it, I'm not really hungry. Why don't you stop holding Sanzo's fucking hands and go by yourself?"

A rustle sounded. Then a firm stomp.

Sanzo growled at Gojyo's resentment and got up, walking toward the door with no care for his untidy hair. He opened the door and shouted, "What?!"

He noticed no one was there, and then he went out into the hallway. What was displayed in front of him was somewhat a surprise. He had expected to see him again eventually- like a cycle repeating itself… but not as soon. He didn't expect the striking attractiveness in Kougaiji's appearance. He had seen the burgundy prince numerous of times and knew that he was attractive but this time, it seemed that Kougaiji made sure he was.

Kougaiji looked at him. He was leaning against the wall with one of his foot propped up. That would explain the soft thump they heard His hands were tucked into his pockets of his typical white pants. The slight difference in his fighting clothing was that he was wearing long sleeve shirt.

"Look like I came at the wrong time," he said, looking at the priest. He gave out a soft smile.

_//That smile… What the hell was that for?//_

That rare smile struck Sanzo big time but he refused to show that. Instead, he crossed his arms, closing his eyes and said in the most monotonous voice, "What do you want?'

Before Kougaiji had the chance to open his mouth, suddenly Goku came out, sliding beside Sanzo with a huge, unrealistic smile on his face.

"KOUGAIJI!!! Alright! I've been looking forward to fight you again!" Goku shouted with such a dignity that it was hard for Gojyo to ignore. The red-haired fighter popped his head out of the doorway, with a I-Can't-Believe-It face.

"Um monkey? Remember the last time he TOTALLY kicked your ass? Like when you were vitally bleeding? With like 3 broken ribs? You actually look forward for more?" Gojyo said unbelievably. Goku acted like he actually forgot!

"Um…" Kougaiji started quietly, a nice pink blush appeared on his tanned face. Sanzo opened his eyes just in time to see that. What was the fuck going on here? "I really came at the wrong time. I apologize for the last time, Goku."

"Ah! It was nothing!" Goku said, smiling. Gojyo fell on the floor after hearing that.

"Er… I heard that you're hungry," Kougaiji said. Yes, he was eavesdropping them for a bit before he knocked on the door. He couldn't help it. Just when he approached the door, he heard the ill-tempered blond yelling. "May I save you some trouble and take Goku out for dinner?"

"What??" Everyone said in unison except the monkey who said YAY!

"Kougaiji, don't waste my time-" the cynical priest started.

"I know. You used to tell me that all the time. But… since you're not in the mood, I cannot put myself in the position to talk to you personally. It is for the best if you set aside your anger and when the next time comes, we'll talk." Kougaiji said, trying to explain.

"No," Sanzo said. "I'll go and we'll talk." He turned to face Hakkai and Gojyo, "Stay here."

"Oh joy, motherfucker," Gojyo said sarcastically and went back into the room.

"Don't take too long!" Hakkai said. His knowing tone reminded Sanzo that the party had stayed too long. He went back in to gather things to get ready to set a new journey out for the next village. Couldn't Hakkai stop being so fucking retarded and leave, Sanzo thought bitterly at his politeness. He didn't like people who were polite but warm-hearted—eh, he was fine with that. Like Kougaiji—he was warm-hearted and kind while Hakkai was more like a robot. Hakkai… incredibly fucking boring.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**

* * *

Chapter Three

* * *

**

(("_That'll do, pretty boy."_

"_You know… that thing won't kill me."_

"… _Try me."_ ))

A small grin tugged at the corner of the priest's mouth as the memory dissipated to the back of his mind. Sighing, he continued to follow Kougaiji and Goku, getting ready for the hell set to come today.

"Hey, Kou, let's fight here!" Goku said, turning around to face the two men. He stretched out his arms to emphasize the large space. There were not many people around since it was afternoon nap time for the town.

"What?" Kougaiji remarked. "I thought you're hungry."

"Oh. God, I knew it." Sanzo said, groaning. "The answer is no. That's final."

"Come on. I could use some warm-up," Goku said, grinning. Fighting with Kougaiji had been an obsession but it seemed to worsen every day.

"The answer is no…fucking monkey," Sanzo said in a warning voice.

"You should listen to your master." Kougaiji joined.

"It's between you and me," Goku said. His grin never wavered. "Nyoibo!"

His staff appeared in his hand. Kougaiji looked at Sanzo hopelessly. The face expression on the blond indicated he couldn't do anything with this stubborn ass. Sighing, he looked back at the little brunet.

"I will not resort to violence. Withdraw your weapon," Kougaiji said for the last time. Will not resort to violence? Now that was something new to Sanzo.

"Come on, throw me some punches. Let see if you've improved. At your right state, that is."

Kougaiji closed his eyes. He could feel some familiar passive presence from the last encounter inside. He declared, "It's not my intention to shed blood but you leave me no choice."

* * *

Sanzo was really pissed at Goku for not listening to him. But for the main part, he was more pissed at him for not taking the last time seriously. 

Sanzo didn't believe Kougaiji's party at first… He thought he didn't give a shit about their little prince of demons. He thought it was nothing… until he saw Kougaiji himself.

It had been a long time since Sanzo last seen the prince when he was heavily defeated by Seiten Taisei. Something was different though. That long, white jacket… white pants… and white shoes he was wearing. His earrings were missing. All of his fancy jewelry disappeared.

That typical golden-hearted, innocent look on his face and his sweet smile were gone.

It wasn't hard to notice that something was terribly wrong.

Kougaiji stood there, with passivity written across his face. He eerily looked like he had become a full blown adult with a lot of experiences instead of a 19 year old youth who always had something emotional on his mind. But with Kougaiji here, his mind was only focused on one objective, closing everything else surrounding him. That was his weakness.

When the prince glared at him, Sanzo knew he was the objective. He wondered if he could modify him in this standpoint to just get the kick out of his brainwashing.

(("_He is nothing but an unfeeling killing machine,"_ Sanzo recalled Dokugakuji saying.

"_If Kougaiji doesn't go back to normal, I'll die with him."_ Yaone….))

Sanzo remembered many encounters with the prince. Especially the first time Sanzo met him. His pretty face wasn't what Sanzo expected.

Of all the people responsible for trying to revive Gyumaoh and for remaking the world to be only consistent of youkais, Sanzo certainly didn't expect a beautiful youth that was able to keep his sanity at the margins. Unlike other enemies, he had the conscience of right and wrong. At that time, Sanzo wondered what he was fighting for.

Now at the very moment, Sanzo was to witness them fighting out of foolishness and over-pride. Goku launched into the air, getting ready to jump onto Kougaiji with his attack. To his surprise, Kougaiji launched too.

The prince jumped and spun his body to round kick the staff down from its offense and quickly after, even in the midair, jabbed his foot hard into Goku's vulnerable spot. A force on his side was strong enough to easily throw him onto the ground with a heavy thud.

Goku, as skilled as ever, recovered his footing. "Good one! Now let see if you dodge this one!"

Kougaiji gritted his teeth at that. He knew he had to fight with his hands since his flame works would not damage Goku, not even slightly. He had learned a lot from Goku on their journeys.

It was not that he was no match for him. The monkey was just a special case. Goku was given powers that were limited by the golden cobalt, which was only made by a God. It was possible for Kougaiji to match the strength perfectly. He knew that Goku would always win by using great strength and experiences but he absolutely had no sense of strategy.

_//Can you help me out a little bit, Engokuki?//_

_//Absolutely. After all, he is a gifted Son Goku. Leave it to me.//_

That kid must be out of the WAY!

"There is no way you can beat me," bragged Goku, lifting his staff. Obviously, he did not remember losing to Kougaiji once.

For some reason, Sanzo felt a stab of anger and… pity? For some odd reason, he didn't want Kougaiji to be harmed any further. Not after what had happened to him merely few days ago. First, he was nearly killed by a clumsy berserker and then got nearly brain-fried for good. And he needed to do shit to save his goddamn mother. He began to think that the prince had enough of trouble. He started on his revolver but Goku already set another attack.

"Defend!" Kougaiji shouted and suddenly a red barrier appeared around him, pushing against Goku's attack. Its impact threw Goku backward. Then he began to summon Engokuki. He didn't have to say anything since he could feel his presence again, coming up by himself. He stood there and allowed Engokuki to engulf his body.

Strange red and black auras emerged, spiraling around his form. The spirals and their colors became bolder. Then, the aura's expanded radius sucked wind into it, blowing away Kougaiji's long hair. It gained more and more strength with each passing second.

"What the hell is that, Kou? What kind of a dirty trick you're putting on me?" Goku shouted over the howling wind.

_//Dirty trick? You use what was given you by the Gods. And I will use what was given by my hard work, you bastard. Because of my devotion, Engokuki chose me!//_

Kougaiji slightly groaned from the body's adjustment to full magic. Literally, he felt as if every vein in his body was popping. Every nerve felt like it was on fire. He couldn't hear anything as blood rushed throughout his body, especially his face. It was difficult to breath in such helix like this. His body screamed at him to stop, to run… to do something! The pain was growing unbearable.

"What the hell?" Sanzo whispered, noticing Kougaiji's eyes changing. His violet eyes were completely covered by the blackest aura of Engokuki.

_//I shall conquer!// _

"Kougaiji, don't do it."

_//Don't do it… what?//_

_//Did you hear that voice?//_

Kougaiji immediately felt his body collapsing rapidly. An enormous feeling of heat shifting to cold was too much. Sweat-like feeling rained on him from head to toe. Engokuki had shut down. Goku, apparently saw this as an opportunity and launched for another attack to encounter Kougaiji's weakening aura.

The last resort of Goku… Without the limits of God, he nearly killed Kougaiji. Sanzo felt every pierce of pain through his heart as he watched every slash Goku made on Kougaiji's body. He would not forget the sight of blood splashing in every direction from the berserker's hands. He was almost certain Kougaiji was dead from the horrific scenario but he knew he had to stop Goku himself. By using the Maten Sculpture… At situations like this, it was God versus God.

Even the beast knows how to give up.

Pulling out his favorite play thing, Sanzo finally aimed for his head and shot a few rounds.

Of course, with speed as his specialty, Goku heard in a split second and managed to escape from the bullets unscathed. He stomped back on the ground. "What are you doing, Sanzo?"

"Did I say… NO!?"

Kougaiji collapsed to the ground, gasping from the intense aura. He was certain he would beat Goku with a single K.O.

"Sanzo-san," Kougaiji panted out, a little astounded by a little defense offered by his rival. Goku was his ultimate arch-rival and of course, he wouldn't stop if it wasn't for Sanzo. Why was he doing this for him? Why did he stop? His heart thumped wildly at the thought of Sanzo's assistance. It was a rarity to have a backing from the priest. His support actually comforted Kougaiji even though it wasn't much. Would that be a sign of any furtherance? By furtherance, it meant friendship.

"Why?"

He asked as Sanzo smacked Goku in the head with his fan.

"Hey! What was that for?" whined Goku as he minimized his Nyoibo's size. Then, it disappeared within his powers.

Sanzo's hands prodded him toward where they were going before. He ignored the small groan of futile protest as they began to walk. He jerked his head into Kougaiji's direction as a cue to continue.

For the time being, Kougaiji looked at them oddly on the way. He couldn't help it but to feel more awkward each passing second with the 'party'.

_//You must bond with him.// _Kougaiji reminded himself of Engokuki's words.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**

* * *

Chapter Four

* * *

**

Even after Goku gobbled up all the paid food, he did not show any appreciation for the burgundy-haired fighter. Sanzo frowned at that. He began to open his mouth to demand a thank you from the monkey's mouth. Wait, why would he even care?

"My treat," Kougaiji said as Goku swallowed a whole bottle of deep red liquid that Sanzo did not know about its properties. "Hey Goku, remember the time when Sanzo and the other guys' memories were taken away from the village lady?"

"Oh yeah! Thanks to you. I wouldn't be able to get through without your help. I was impressed by the powers that you emitted to break through the sound barrier," Goku recalled, his face brightened. "You came and said to all of your comrades, 'What are you doing?' and then you looked at me and was like 'Something has happened, hasn't it?' I told you I owe you, didn't I?"

Kougaiji grinned at that.

"Oh man," Goku looked down at his empty plate, putting his finger in his mouth, "I really owe you much."

"It's alright."

_//What the hell is going on? They're being friendly.//_

"Didn't you try to beat each other up a while ago?" Sanzo dryly observed. He couldn't help but to feel a pint of jealousy that they could bind easily, even in opposition. "Speak up, prince."

Kougaiji looked at Sanzo seriously. "Like I said, I prefer to talk you alone."

"You wasted a lot of my time. You know we cannot stay long. Now speak up," Sanzo said, narrowing his amethyst eyes, "Besides the monkey is too stupid to listen."

"Huh? Hey!"

Kougaiji turned to face Goku again. "Hey, Goku. Since you're in Sanzo-Ikkou, I really hope you will use your skills that you have used against me to achieve your goals. You're a better fighter than I."

_//Bullshit.//_ Sanzo refused to believe that. He defeated Seiten Tasei himself. If he could do it, Kougaiji could do it too. Why Sanzo felt the need to knock some sense of balance into them? Why being better than one another was so important to them? It bothered him.

"What… you're a good fighter too!" the crazed brunet claimed. Sanzo was more than anticipated to agree but kept that bottled up instead. "Don't you have a goal?"

Kougaiji sighed. "Let just say… I've changed my plans. Remember what you said to me, Sanzo?"

WTF was what Sanzo was thinking.

Kougaiji had to refresh the blond's memory. He began, "Get over it…_your_…

((…_mother is obviously dead. So, stop crying.," Sanzo said in a tedious voice. "It is a complete waste of time."_

"_Y-You don't know what it is like to have mother—"_

"_Shut up."_

"…"

"_Just shut up." Sanzo said, getting very grateful that he never had the chance to grow up with parents. "Everyone dies. Accept it. I don't want to hear any of your crap. Your fucking dead mother isn't any of my concern, however… You get in my way. You Die." _))

Of course, these words sent spikes of pain through Kougaiji's heart. There were enough to shatter. Tears had sprung to his violet eyes. But even the prince, like everyone else, had to learn it the hard way sometimes. Loved ones die.

"I realized you were right," Kougaiji said, "She was dead enough. There was nothing I could do. If it means taking Maten Sculpture from you, I won't do it. Not after I started to get to know you."

_//What? Started to know me? What the fuck is this gibberish?// _Sanzo thought, taken by this.

_//I hope I said the right thing.// _Kougaiji wondered as he read Sanzo's neutral facial expression.

Sanzo stood up, throwing back the chair and backslapped hard across Kougaiji's face, It was about the 50th time he had slapped someone. First was out of the party. "Fool! You don't know a slightest thing about me."

"Then, let me know you!" Kougaiji replied quickly, even though he was dumbfounded by his reaction. He didn't know exactly what they were talking about at the moment. Did he misunderstand something? Maybe what he said wasn't clear and personal. Was there something missing?

Sanzo swallowed hard and clenched his fists in anger. He saw Kougaiji in a different way, more like… he was nothing now. Like the prince lost his dignity that he worked so hard to build. What happened to the old Kougaiji? Sanzo wanted to spit at him out of despite. But only he didn't want to. He placed a hard vice-like grip on Kougaiji's wrist and started to drag him out. "Wait!"

"Sanzo!"

_//Shit. He is REALLY taking this personally.//_ Kougaiji thought hastily. Sanzo wasn't supposed to.

"Goku, go back to the inn."

Sanzo led him around the back of the building and shoved his body against the wall. He threw a punch at his face to release some of his anger. Of course, Kougaiji let him. A punch was nothing to him. He expected it for some reason and fell to the dirty ground. He sat there, looking up to the priest.

"Who asked you to do that?" Sanzo asked, lowering his body to face Kougaiji. He placed his palm beside his long ear against the wall. "You had every opportunity you could have and you yourself just destroyed it. Doing this… did you think it would make me a happy?"

Kougaiji glared at him. At the same time, he was questioning the blond on what was so upsetting about what he had said back there.

"Here I am, for your fleeting moment. I have the Maten Sculpture. Why don't you fight for it? Fight me, get it, and save your—"

"It takes a lot more than just a single fucking sculpture! Besides, why do you fucking care!" Kougaiji shouted. He was this close to wrap his hands around the priest's lovely neck and maybe, take a bite of his sweet flesh.

_//Sweet?//_

"Because you gave up because of what I said. That is _pathetic_."

Kougaiji growled and looked away.

"When you were fighting Goku for the first time, didn't you say that you wouldn't give up? That is why you're who you are today, Kougaiji." Sanzo's voice became softer. He fell to sit next to Kougaiji, placing his elbows on his knees and sighed, "I said a lot of shit I shouldn't have said but you can't just give up…because. God. Fucking. Damnit. You're so weak. For a moment there, I thought I'd respect you."

_//There's no one I would respect… The only man I respected was… no…//_ Sanzo shut his eyes from the memory of Koumyou Sanzo's face.

"Life is too short to repeat the same stupid experiences again and again…" Pain in his heart started to swell. The prince sniveled at it, regarding his encounters with the Sanzo-Ikkou and Goku.

"Life is too short to try and tell other people what is a waste of their time," Sanzo replied, pretending not to notice his glossy eyes. He said this because he wanted to show him apologies but he would never know if Kougaiji understood his ways.

"I'm sorry," Kougaiji whispered after a silence. "But, I have been deceived by these who used me as a puppet. They tell me they can revive her but after what you've told me, when I looked at her, I just couldn't see it happening."

"……"

"Like I said, I have set a different goal. And I'm okay with that. I'm just letting go of some things. I will come to deal with these issues later."

"Shit. I need a cigarette," Sanzo mumbled, taking out his pack. He then tried to oppress his laughter from the outcome that was made and succeeded. He cracked a smile though. What were the odds of having Sanzo and Kougaiji sitting out there, having a meaningful talk?

"Thank you for telling me how you feel."

"Shut up." Sanzo inhaled his cigarette, avoiding any eye contact. Kougaiji smiled at that. The priest also wanted to change the subject, "How'd you find us?"

"Don't you think it is about time that I've found your pattern?"

"Hn…"

"……"

"……"

"Someday, I want you to defeat Goku."

Kougaiji blinked. That came out of nowhere. He looked at Sanzo's face for any clue of confirmation. Did he really mean that? His heart started to move a rhythm of excitement and also, a relief. "Sanzo..."

"You better set that as your goal, pretty boy."

Kougaiji smiled. After a while, he had to disappear. He wouldn't want his alchemist to worry too much. He placed his palms against the wall to crawl from the sitting position. He stood up but just as he was about to leave, Sanzo brought up another matter.

"Hey? What happened to your earrings?"

"Huh?" Kougaiji glanced at him, wondering if he had heard him correctly, "M-my stepmother ripped them off my ears and broke them. 'Said she didn't like me wearing things that remind her of my true mother."

Sanzo nodded with understanding and took a long suck of his cigarette between his fingers. Kougaiji was still standing there while the other let the smoke float out of his mouth. He could tell that the prince wanted to ask why would Sanzo ask that kind of question. Sighing, he said, "Don't even ask."

With that, Kougaiji departed to his ruby, flying dragon which had been feeding on the rich fields nearby.

* * *


End file.
